Scientist Disappointed to Discover Cure for Cancer

Bethesda, MD- A spokesman of The National Institute of Health Office of AIDS Research was disappointed to announce that one of their scientists, Dr. Sanjay Mueller had discovered a cure for cancer.

Mueller, an Englishman of less than average height with dark coloring the son of immigrants, whose interest in AIDS research began following his brother's death from the disease in 1993 spoke for reporters on Thursday, after the unprecedented discovery was announced in a press release.

"I've been working on my research into the treatment of AIDS in hopes of finding a cure, since 1994. I have experienced many successes and many failures. This past week, however, I encountered my largest failure. When my partner and I tested a new medicine that we thought may have been a vaccine for AIDS, we discovered that we had not solved this problem, but had stumbled across a cure for cancer."

When reporters asked if the cure was limited certain strains of the disease, he informed them it cured all types.

"Leukemia, Lymphoma, Breast cancer, you name it, this cure will take care of it" Said Mueller, with a look of immense sadness on his face.

Though Mueller and his colleagues at the NIH are disappointed, medical authorities around the world are ecstatic. The Centers for Disease Control, announced the beginning of the cure's mass-production, for use as soon as possible, without waiting for the approval of the Food and Drug Administration. The President is expected to announce that Mueller and his research partner Dr. Jamie Saletore will be receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor the United States can bestow upon a civilian.

"We are not going to allow this set-back to phase us. We are going to continue the work that we set out to do, finding either a cure or a vaccine to Advanced Immune Deficiency Syndrome" he said in closing, before he and his partner left with their heads hung in shame.

Mueller and Saletore are already rumored to already be on the "sort-list" for the Nobel Prize for Medicine, scarcely a day after the discovery was announced. There find is easily the most amazing medical achievement since the discovery and creation of the Polio vaccine by Dr. Jonas Salk in 1954.