Shadow Government Senator Wishes He Received The Same Quality Healthcare As Actual Senator
Washington, D.C.- Hank Thompson, the junior Shadow Senator from the state of Michigan wished that he received the same healthcare as actual Senators, he announced on Wednesday.
Thompson, who was selected as Michigan’s Shadow Senator in the year 2003, lamented the inadequacies of the healthcare system that keeps the members of America’s real legislative branch healthy and serving their nation.
“They [the members of the actual Senate], receive the finest healthcare in the United States, the quality of the care they recieve is second only to the President‘s.” Thompson said during a Shadow Press Conference he held from the Press Room of the Shadow Senate; located in the Shadow Capitol just a stone’s throw from the actual Capitol on Capitol Hill
“While they‘re all receiving incredible care at Bethesda Naval [Hospital], we’re getting nothing. Our healthcare plan consists of going to Canada, and receiving free, and sub-par healthcare from them!” He proclaimed to cheers from other members of the Shadow Senate.
Then Thompson, the ranking Shadow Democrat on the Shadow Weighs and Means Committee, arrived at the reason that he had called a gathering of all Shadow Senate’s Shadow Press Corps.
“That is why we have gathered you here today,” continued Thompson, for the first time acknowledging that there was a purpose to the press conference besides his Shadow Bitching. “We of the Shadow Senate of the United States of America, have passed a bill, entitling us to the same quality of healthcare currently received by the Actual Senate of the United States, and that they will be relegated to using forged documents to receive free healthcare from the government of Canada!” He finished, recieving a rousing cheer from the other members of the Shadow Senate.
“I believe this is a great step forward.” said Christian Farris, the senior Shadow Senator from the state of Washington, “We are finally on the path to receiving the medical treatment we so richly deserve.”
This bill still has to pass in the Shadow House of Representatives, after which the two versions of the bill will be reconciled.
Thompson, who was selected as Michigan’s Shadow Senator in the year 2003, lamented the inadequacies of the healthcare system that keeps the members of America’s real legislative branch healthy and serving their nation.
“They [the members of the actual Senate], receive the finest healthcare in the United States, the quality of the care they recieve is second only to the President‘s.” Thompson said during a Shadow Press Conference he held from the Press Room of the Shadow Senate; located in the Shadow Capitol just a stone’s throw from the actual Capitol on Capitol Hill
“While they‘re all receiving incredible care at Bethesda Naval [Hospital], we’re getting nothing. Our healthcare plan consists of going to Canada, and receiving free, and sub-par healthcare from them!” He proclaimed to cheers from other members of the Shadow Senate.
Then Thompson, the ranking Shadow Democrat on the Shadow Weighs and Means Committee, arrived at the reason that he had called a gathering of all Shadow Senate’s Shadow Press Corps.
“That is why we have gathered you here today,” continued Thompson, for the first time acknowledging that there was a purpose to the press conference besides his Shadow Bitching. “We of the Shadow Senate of the United States of America, have passed a bill, entitling us to the same quality of healthcare currently received by the Actual Senate of the United States, and that they will be relegated to using forged documents to receive free healthcare from the government of Canada!” He finished, recieving a rousing cheer from the other members of the Shadow Senate.
“I believe this is a great step forward.” said Christian Farris, the senior Shadow Senator from the state of Washington, “We are finally on the path to receiving the medical treatment we so richly deserve.”
This bill still has to pass in the Shadow House of Representatives, after which the two versions of the bill will be reconciled.
posted by Patrick at 9:05 PM
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