Encyclopedia Receives New Revisions
New York- The Fourth Edition of The Pharris Encyclopedia of Cliques will be released by Simon & Schuster next week. The Fouth edition of the popular guide to high school social groups contains numerous additions since the Third Edition was released 5 years ago. M. H. K. Pharris, the encyclopedia’s editor said in a press release Thursday, “In this edition of the encyclopedia, we hope to address some of the cliques that haven‘t been covered before in the history of clique associations.” Some of the additions to the encyclopedia have been re-printed below.
Gamers
They may be Geeks or they may belong to any of numerous other cliques, but whatever their social affiliation they LOVE Games. We’re not about talking board games or parlor games, we're talking video games. They are the types who organize LAN parties, especially ones that last more than one day. They'll spend an entire weekend playing Halo alone on XBox LIVE, rather than having any actual human contact, for instance playing Halo with their friends. If the majority of their time while conscious is not spent in front of a video screen of some sort they feel that the day has been wasted. They are forced to sit through school, dreaming of the mayhem that will ensue when they return home. Gamers occur in two forms. The Gamer that belongs to the Gamer Clique, or the Gamer that hides among non-Gamers, living a secret life of Gaming.
Intellegence: Varies
Popularity: Varies
Fitness: Food and Video Screens, a Winning combination!
Choice of Clothing: clothing is secondary to the game, it'll probably be dirty, wrinkled, and a T-Shirt
Asians
The only ethnic group that is also a clique, they can be found together as a group, or amongst other cliques (Nerds, Slackers, Etc.). They however are also found together.. Intellegent, nice and overachieving are their main attributes. They have rigorous schedules, of a day of 6 classes, they'll have 5 Honors or AP classes. In addition to these classes, they play a musical insrument (well usually), and do some other activity, which is more than you do without any AP or Honors classes.
Intellegence: 5-10
Popularity: Varies
Fitness: varies
Choice of Clothing: Prep-esque clothing, or normal non-clique affiliated clothing. It varies based on the wearer.
Sluts/Whores
While in the real world these two are quite different, one having sexual intercourse for some sort of payment, while the other is promiscuous for their own gratification. High schools however generaly lack people who are payed for their services, so for the purpose of this article, they will be lumped together. You know them when you see them, your first response to seeing one will be, “She looks like a whore.” Though this may or may not be true, their dress will be revealing. It'll be showing off what they got, even if they don’t have much or nobody wants their "goods". If there is a dress code, no doubt they will be in violation of it. Also they will usually take advantage of the Halloween holiday to push the lines of decency. Their time is spent hanging all over guys and showing off their "goods". What is not spent doing these things is spent having sexual intercourse.
Intellegence: Varies (suprisingly)
Popularity: For a good time call Jenny 867-5309
Fitness:5-8
Choice of Dress: Low-cut shirt, short skirt, push-up bra (showing), Thong (also showing), contraception items
Slackers
Slackers, whose name comes from the term "slack-off", don't like to do work, this is the core element that holds them together. They vary in intellegence, they can be both very smart, and also very stupid. They can be kids who would excell in academics, if they wanted to, or kids who are barley sentient beings. Either way they have one thing in common, they are incredibly lazy. They may have a stoner or two amongst their ranks but for the most part, are relatively average, and were they not slackers, they wouldn't be a member of any specific clique. Though lazy in academia they may be involved in school clubs, though they'll generally be lazy in this arena as well, being involved in or even heading clubs that do little to nothing.
Intellegence: 1-9
Popularity: varies
Fitness: 4-7
Choice of Clothing: Normal clothing, that doesn't generally apply to any clique. If their clothing applies to a certain clique it is generally in the stoner or skater group, or sometimes an eclectic mixture of the two.
Drama Kids
Some schools have a drama clique, while others don't, though both schools have active drama programs. In the schools without such a clique, the schools dramatists hang-out together when working on a production for the school, but when not brought together for reasons such as these, they scatter to the four winds. Whether they be Preps, or Nerds, or Punks, they spend most of their time amongst these cliques. As far as personal traits go they pretty much run the gambit. There are also the kids who form actual drama cliques. You can tell them in a crowd when they are together, because they exude an aloofness that annoys all, especially other drama kids. They are annoyed by the clique of the self-centered, artsy-fartsy, and pompous name that they give all drama folk.
Intellegence: 1-9
Popularity: 1-7
Fitness: 1-8
Choice of Clothing: It varies greatly based upon what clique they are generally associated. If they are specifically part of a drama clique, clothes simmilar to those of the preps.
Gangstas
Whether their ancestors came from Spain, the Caucases, or Darkest Africa, these descendants of geographically seperated forbears have one thing in common. They are universally annoying. Clad in the 4X basketball jersey (a medium would have actually fit) of a poorly performing team, an askew baseball cap, once again of a poorly performing team, and pants 13 sizes too big, with a belt, which strains helplessly against gravity to keep the wearers pants upright. Speaking with words that aren't really words, and listening to a type of "music", who require a refraining chorus of 6-9 words for a number one hit. They all think they are super fly and can kick anyone's ass as long as they have their "Boyeeeees" with them. Every student dreams to see a real gang-member "bust-a-cap-in-their-ass".
Intellegence: Isn't that a hot new rapper?
Popularity: Isn't that the name of Intellegence's hot new single?
Fitness: Thin, very thin, and scrawny.
Choice of Clothing: Oversized Basketball jersey, of a bad team (ex: The Clippers), an oddly placed baseball cap of a bad team (ex: Montreal Expos), a riddiculously huge pair of pants, with a useless belt, showing undergarments.
Bohemians
While they are far and few between, they are very recognizable. They are artistic types, who choose to live in an unconventional and artsy way. They are fans of the dead lifestyle called Bohemianism, which began in Europe in the mid-late 1800s. Having been forced by a cruel god to live in a world with electricity and runing water, in a time without Small Pox or the threat of Polio, they do the best they can to emulate this odd gypsy-like style. They tend to be rather odd and dress in an unusual fashion, but they tend to be nice people.
Intellegence: 5-9
Popularity: 0-0
Fitness: varies, however, a tough regimin of Gypsy dancing and starving artistry, tends to give them a well-toned physique
Choice of Clothing: Anything ragady that would have been in style amongst the starving artists of 1845 Paris. Their clothes very much resemble gypsies, from whom much of it was stolen.
Punk Elitists
The guys with black. Lots of black, every speck of clothing on them must be black, perhaps they'll have a brightly colored bandana haning from their trousers (The only sign that light is reflected, rather than being absorbed). Their shirt is emblazened with some obscure and odd sounding band name like, The Dirty Sheets. They wouldn't be caught dead in a shirt with the name of a band anyone has heard of. They are better than everyone else. You will never be as cool and knowledgeable about music as they are. You could be curator of the Punk-Rock Hall of Fame for all they care, but if you haven't heard of the mid-1990s band, The Whore-House Pianists, which was based out of Canton, Ohio and released 1 album on Death Bone Records (a Toledo label), you don't know anything about music, and hence, shouldn't look at them. the Hardcore Punk is a total prick.
Intellect: 0-4
Popularity: they're too good to be popular
Fitness: Thin and bony, which they need to show off
Choice of Clothing: Dark, tight, obscure band. What's it to ya!?!?
Gamers
They may be Geeks or they may belong to any of numerous other cliques, but whatever their social affiliation they LOVE Games. We’re not about talking board games or parlor games, we're talking video games. They are the types who organize LAN parties, especially ones that last more than one day. They'll spend an entire weekend playing Halo alone on XBox LIVE, rather than having any actual human contact, for instance playing Halo with their friends. If the majority of their time while conscious is not spent in front of a video screen of some sort they feel that the day has been wasted. They are forced to sit through school, dreaming of the mayhem that will ensue when they return home. Gamers occur in two forms. The Gamer that belongs to the Gamer Clique, or the Gamer that hides among non-Gamers, living a secret life of Gaming.
Intellegence: Varies
Popularity: Varies
Fitness: Food and Video Screens, a Winning combination!
Choice of Clothing: clothing is secondary to the game, it'll probably be dirty, wrinkled, and a T-Shirt
Asians
The only ethnic group that is also a clique, they can be found together as a group, or amongst other cliques (Nerds, Slackers, Etc.). They however are also found together.. Intellegent, nice and overachieving are their main attributes. They have rigorous schedules, of a day of 6 classes, they'll have 5 Honors or AP classes. In addition to these classes, they play a musical insrument (well usually), and do some other activity, which is more than you do without any AP or Honors classes.
Intellegence: 5-10
Popularity: Varies
Fitness: varies
Choice of Clothing: Prep-esque clothing, or normal non-clique affiliated clothing. It varies based on the wearer.
Sluts/Whores
While in the real world these two are quite different, one having sexual intercourse for some sort of payment, while the other is promiscuous for their own gratification. High schools however generaly lack people who are payed for their services, so for the purpose of this article, they will be lumped together. You know them when you see them, your first response to seeing one will be, “She looks like a whore.” Though this may or may not be true, their dress will be revealing. It'll be showing off what they got, even if they don’t have much or nobody wants their "goods". If there is a dress code, no doubt they will be in violation of it. Also they will usually take advantage of the Halloween holiday to push the lines of decency. Their time is spent hanging all over guys and showing off their "goods". What is not spent doing these things is spent having sexual intercourse.
Intellegence: Varies (suprisingly)
Popularity: For a good time call Jenny 867-5309
Fitness:5-8
Choice of Dress: Low-cut shirt, short skirt, push-up bra (showing), Thong (also showing), contraception items
Slackers
Slackers, whose name comes from the term "slack-off", don't like to do work, this is the core element that holds them together. They vary in intellegence, they can be both very smart, and also very stupid. They can be kids who would excell in academics, if they wanted to, or kids who are barley sentient beings. Either way they have one thing in common, they are incredibly lazy. They may have a stoner or two amongst their ranks but for the most part, are relatively average, and were they not slackers, they wouldn't be a member of any specific clique. Though lazy in academia they may be involved in school clubs, though they'll generally be lazy in this arena as well, being involved in or even heading clubs that do little to nothing.
Intellegence: 1-9
Popularity: varies
Fitness: 4-7
Choice of Clothing: Normal clothing, that doesn't generally apply to any clique. If their clothing applies to a certain clique it is generally in the stoner or skater group, or sometimes an eclectic mixture of the two.
Drama Kids
Some schools have a drama clique, while others don't, though both schools have active drama programs. In the schools without such a clique, the schools dramatists hang-out together when working on a production for the school, but when not brought together for reasons such as these, they scatter to the four winds. Whether they be Preps, or Nerds, or Punks, they spend most of their time amongst these cliques. As far as personal traits go they pretty much run the gambit. There are also the kids who form actual drama cliques. You can tell them in a crowd when they are together, because they exude an aloofness that annoys all, especially other drama kids. They are annoyed by the clique of the self-centered, artsy-fartsy, and pompous name that they give all drama folk.
Intellegence: 1-9
Popularity: 1-7
Fitness: 1-8
Choice of Clothing: It varies greatly based upon what clique they are generally associated. If they are specifically part of a drama clique, clothes simmilar to those of the preps.
Gangstas
Whether their ancestors came from Spain, the Caucases, or Darkest Africa, these descendants of geographically seperated forbears have one thing in common. They are universally annoying. Clad in the 4X basketball jersey (a medium would have actually fit) of a poorly performing team, an askew baseball cap, once again of a poorly performing team, and pants 13 sizes too big, with a belt, which strains helplessly against gravity to keep the wearers pants upright. Speaking with words that aren't really words, and listening to a type of "music", who require a refraining chorus of 6-9 words for a number one hit. They all think they are super fly and can kick anyone's ass as long as they have their "Boyeeeees" with them. Every student dreams to see a real gang-member "bust-a-cap-in-their-ass".
Intellegence: Isn't that a hot new rapper?
Popularity: Isn't that the name of Intellegence's hot new single?
Fitness: Thin, very thin, and scrawny.
Choice of Clothing: Oversized Basketball jersey, of a bad team (ex: The Clippers), an oddly placed baseball cap of a bad team (ex: Montreal Expos), a riddiculously huge pair of pants, with a useless belt, showing undergarments.
Bohemians
While they are far and few between, they are very recognizable. They are artistic types, who choose to live in an unconventional and artsy way. They are fans of the dead lifestyle called Bohemianism, which began in Europe in the mid-late 1800s. Having been forced by a cruel god to live in a world with electricity and runing water, in a time without Small Pox or the threat of Polio, they do the best they can to emulate this odd gypsy-like style. They tend to be rather odd and dress in an unusual fashion, but they tend to be nice people.
Intellegence: 5-9
Popularity: 0-0
Fitness: varies, however, a tough regimin of Gypsy dancing and starving artistry, tends to give them a well-toned physique
Choice of Clothing: Anything ragady that would have been in style amongst the starving artists of 1845 Paris. Their clothes very much resemble gypsies, from whom much of it was stolen.
Punk Elitists
The guys with black. Lots of black, every speck of clothing on them must be black, perhaps they'll have a brightly colored bandana haning from their trousers (The only sign that light is reflected, rather than being absorbed). Their shirt is emblazened with some obscure and odd sounding band name like, The Dirty Sheets. They wouldn't be caught dead in a shirt with the name of a band anyone has heard of. They are better than everyone else. You will never be as cool and knowledgeable about music as they are. You could be curator of the Punk-Rock Hall of Fame for all they care, but if you haven't heard of the mid-1990s band, The Whore-House Pianists, which was based out of Canton, Ohio and released 1 album on Death Bone Records (a Toledo label), you don't know anything about music, and hence, shouldn't look at them. the Hardcore Punk is a total prick.
Intellect: 0-4
Popularity: they're too good to be popular
Fitness: Thin and bony, which they need to show off
Choice of Clothing: Dark, tight, obscure band. What's it to ya!?!?
posted by Patrick at 4:55 PM
3 Comments:
You just stole this from yourself. Cheater.
Heh. I have Jenny's number on speed dial.
It can all be found here:
http://www.fallenearth.org/wiki/index.php/The_Pharris_Enclyclopedia_of_Various_Stereotypical_Cliques
http://www.fallenearth.org/wiki/index.php/Talk:The_Pharris_Enclyclopedia_of_Various_Stereotypical_Cliques
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